Why does Leonie feel so distant from her children?
This question stays with you throughout the novel, and I think the answer has a lot to do with Leonie’s own unresolved pain. At one point, she admits, “felt myself wrestle with wanting to be a mother, with wanting to bear a baby into the world, to carry it throughout life.”(Ward, 158). This line stood out to me because it explains why Leonie struggles to connect. Her life is full of sadness, especially the loss of her brother, Given, and her complicated relationship with Jojo’s father, Michael. All of this affects how she relates to her children.
What makes this even harder is how much Jojo clearly wants a parent he can depend on. Early in the story, Jojo says, “so Pop will know I’m ready to pull what needs to be pulled” (Ward 1). His bond with his grandfather, Pop, shows the gap between him and Leonie. Jojo looks to Pop for guidance and love, which highlights the lack of that connection with his mother. Jojo has to grow up fast because Leonie can’t give him the support he needs. It’s sad because he ends up taking on more responsibility than a kid should have to, filling in the gaps Leonie leaves.
The ghosts in the novel, especially Richie, add another layer to the story. Richie’s spirit connects with Jojo, representing old wounds that haven’t healed. The way Ward uses these ghosts shows that the past doesn’t just go away; it sticks around and affects the present. As Pop tells Jojo about Richie’s life and death, you see how past trauma affects the new generation. Jojo’s encounters with these spirits show how history’s pain gets passed down, sometimes without anyone realizing it.
Ward’s writing pulls all these ideas together like family, trauma, and the supernatural. What I found interesting is that Leonie isn’t just a “bad mother.” She’s a flawed person dealing with her own struggles. She does love her kids, but her pain and trauma make it hard for her to show that love. The novel makes you think about how pain and trauma get passed through generations and affect how we love the people closest to us.
What stands out to me most is that Ward doesn’t give us easy answers. The characters in this novel are complex, messy, and real. Leonie’s distance from Jojo is hard to watch, but it also feels true to life. It shows how difficult it can be to love someone when you’re struggling with your own pain.
References:
- Ward, Jesmyn. Sing, Unburied, Sing. Scribner, 2017.
Given Leonie's history of trauma and numerous life-altering mistakes, it is challenging to entirely blame her for her lack of connection with her children. However, putting the blame just on her and not her trauma isn’t impossible. Leonie gave birth to Jojo while she was just seventeen years old. Not only is being a mother this young socially looked down upon, but a seventeen-year-old also can’t fully comprehend the responsibility raising a child brings. Additionally, Mam also knows Leonie doesn’t have the mothering instinct, stating to Jojo, "I knew when you was little and we was out shopping, and she bought herself something to eat and ate it right in front of you, and you was sitting there crying hungry. I knew then” (233). Mam realized that she would have to step down from the grandmother role and be Jojo’s mom because Leonie didn’t have the “instinct” to do so. Considering Leonie’s past decisions, trauma does not seem to be the cause of her lack of connection with her kids; rather, it is her lack of motherly instinct. However, an argument could be made that the trauma caused her lack of motherly instinct. If that happens to be true, then blame could be put solely, or more so, on trauma.
ReplyDeleteOne of the main sources of conflict in this story is the tension between Leonie and her children. In the novel, Leonie deals with a lot of internal conflict that comes from her inability to regulate her emotions and her unresolved feelings from her past trauma. Leonie recognizes that she is not a good mother for her kids and along with shame, she also feels jealousy. On page 98 Ward reveals Leonie’s thoughts about this, “Maybe because I want her to burrow in to me for succor instead of her brother.” Leonie desperately wants Kayla to choose her over Jojo, but she recognizes that her inconsistency as a mother creates the distance between her and her children. In addition to this, Leonie has a lot of anger, and she uses her children as an outlet for her emotions throughout the book. One example of this is when Leonie thinks to herself, “It feels good to be mean, to speak past the baby I can’t hit and let that anger touch another” (Ward, 147). This anger stems from the hardships she has experienced in the past such as Given being killed, Mam being sick, and her toxic relationship with Michael. The ghost of Given further shows how Leonie creates distance by choosing Michael or drugs over her children. While Leonie is high and with Michael, Given is there standing near the kid’s bedrooms, reminding her of her obligations, and urging her to choose her kids instead (Ward, 150).
ReplyDeleteIt is easy to write her off as a bad mother who is incapable of doing any good for her children. However, this post allows us to dive deeper into Leonie’s past and trauma and try to understand her wrongdoings. This post made me realize that the ghosts in the novel also play into the idea of generational trauma, within the wider context of anti-black racism, but also within families. For instance, Jojo didn’t know Given and didn’t go through the pain of losing him. However, Jojo is indirectly affected by that pain, as Leonie carries it with her and becomes unstable for her children. Additionally I believe that Leonie’s inability to properly care for her children is rooted in her selfishness and low self confidence. She becomes reliant on Micheal for self-validation which is portrayed when she states, “...he [Micheal] saw me. Saw past skin color of unmilked coffee, eyes black, lips the color of plums, and saw me. Saw the walking wound I was, and came to be my balm.” (Ward 54). Michael stepping in Leonie’s life at a time where she was vulnerable and felt unseen caused her to rely on him for support. Leonie does not get love from her father, and she always says that Jojo has the same look of disappointment for her as her dad does. Because Leonie is selfish, she expects her children to give her love without anything in return. Her insecurities are fueled when she realizes that she is being a bad mother, which in turn causes her to create even more distance between herself and the children rather than attempt to mend these relationships.
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